The Twilight Facebook
by twilightslittleangel
Summary: Watch some of Eclipse's best moments on Facebook with Bella's posts and other peoples. laugh as mike claims his love for Bella and Jacob threatens Jane and other funny stuff. as the mischief unfolds, the funnier it gets. on hold right now, lack of ideas
1. Chapter 1

hi people. two things on the agenda. the first one is sorry about the errors that my word program wouldent fix. i might as well type it one google chrome, which i recomend for people who don't spell very well. also, since i don't swear i wont post swears but very creative words like turkey and sheep. second thing on agenda is leave me a review. tell me if you liked it or hated it, what i should leave the same or change. i don't care, tell me about your pet rock for all i care. i want to know if people are reading my stories and liking what they are getting. and if you don't have a fanfiction, don't fret you can leave me a review too! how charming right? love with big, vibrant hugs twilightslittleangel

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**Bella Swan **is rereading the same book, wishing that Charlie would unground me. UGGG

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9 people like this

**Edward Cullen **sorry, I cant come save you, besides I don't think that Charlie likes me

** Jacob Black **that's because he likes me better!

**Alice Cullen **well you deserve it for wearing that sweater two times in a row!

**Emmett Cullen **HA HA HA

1 person likes this

**Jacob black **if you weren't so involved with that filthy blood sucker I might not have wanted to give him your bike

**Esme Cullen **what book are you reading? Is it something good?

** Bella Swan **I'm reading pride and prejudice for the millionth time. Even ask Edward

** Edward Cullen **it is very much true mom

**Carlisle Cullen **well Bella, look on the bright side. You haven't hurt yourself in a long time now, but that is jinxing our luck isn't it. Darn.

** Emmett Cullen **daddy, start planning for the next Bella battle. You jinxed it so badly Alice had a moment

** Alice Cullen **nice save Emmett

8 people like this

**Rosalie hale **you deserve it, and how many times do I have to say sorry

** Bella Swan **you haven't said it like you mean it and what you did was a cruel thing to do, risking your own brother's life like it was nothing!

1 person likes this

**Angela Webber **well, I care and I am bored with tons of homework. Can I come over today and we can do homework together

8 people like this

** Bella swan** I have homework too, when can you come

** Angela Webber **at oneish

** Bella swan **okay I will be waiting

** Emmett Cullen **can I come too?

4 people like this

** Bella swan **fine, you and all your siblings and Angela, bring who ever you want, just remember that Edward and his family are coming too

** Angela Webber **I invited mike, Ben, and Jessica

** Mike Newton **cool, I am coming and you finally added me Bella! I love you 3

** Edward Cullen **hey mike, cool it or I will break you into pieces and feed you to a dog. Understood?

Bella swan likes this

** Mike Newton **yes sir

** Jane Volturi **Bella, can I come to your house too and be grounded. I technically am hiding from Heidi, Alec, and felix. Good prank gone bad. So I am going to come over at one too.

** Edward cullen **jane this better not be some sick joke either

8 people like this

** Mike newton **who the duck is jane?

** Bella swan **stay out of it mike

** Jacob black **shes only an evil, sadistic person that's only wish is to torture everyone on the earth

10 people like this including Sam uley

** Mike newton **really, is she that bad

** Jacob black **I wouldn't say he's a she…

** Jane volturi **Jacob black I will have your hide on a wall if you don't shut the you know what up

** Carlisle cullen **lets settle this like normal people, Jacob, jane has now put a restraining order and a Facebook block on you. I suggest you do the same

** Jacob black **fine

**Jasper hale **I feel for you bella,, Alice has trapped me in her closet and I have no hopes of getting out

** Bella swan **likes this

** Bella swan **she does that to me every time I come over

** Esme cullen **Alice, treat your guest nicer. One would have thought that you would have better behavior

** Alice cullen **I do mom just she is practically my sister and….

** Mike newton **what! How is she practically your sister? You arent even related and I don't think that she is marring Edward yet without giving me a chance

** Bella swan **mike, you now have a restraining order. Obey by it or Charlie will lock you on the womens side of the jail cells and we will laugh and watch your mommy bail you out

15 people like this

**Emmett cullen **good job bella! I am so proud of you

**Edward cullen **I didn't know you could even be mean

** Jacob black **you want mean, she isn't allowed to see me because of you

** Mike newton **what the Fresh snow?

** Edward cullen **never mind mike

**Bella swan **I have an idea for everyone, go get your homework and come over already, its almost one!

** 15 people like this**


	2. Chapter 2

**hi good people, i am fed up with this institution so i am going to just leave everthing the way it is. you should know that the name is supposed to be bolded and the message isnt supposed to, but fanfiction isnt cooperating so i am just going to give up on it. i will work on the other one and like i said on my profile that if you can find a better word program i can download for free review or pm me to let me know. it just might help with the issues on my word program. i know that the first post is messed, edward says the stuff underneath because if i try to fix it it only gets worse. also, all of the comments are still in the same spot as the main post, so to let you know ALL COMMENTS ARE UNDERNEATH TEH FIRST POST, MADE BY EDWARD CULLEN. like i said, the fanfiction document manager isnt working very well right now and its just making me mad. before you log off and go read someone elses stories off of one of the links i put on my profile, i will give big big hugs to who ever reviews and possibly a link on my profile. i like to be nice to people and no one can stop me unless...twilightslittleangel**

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Edward cullen

spent a wonderful day with my bella

**Bella swan **awww

**Jacob black** jeez you duck

**Rosalie hale **at least you had a good day, I reread my t.s. eliot poetry book for the millionth time

**Edward cullen **t.s. eliot is a good poet, don't make fun of him

3 people like this

**Jane volturi **Rosalie, I can beat that. I was stuck in a room with a ton of boys watching some weird show called south park

**Alec volturi **hey, south park is a good show

**Mike newton **who the dog are you?

**Edward cullen **stay out of this mike

**Emmett cullen **did you do anything other than stare at each other and say I love you in different languages?

**Bella swan **EMMETT!

**Esme cullen **emmett how could you say that, you know we all care about them but that has taken it a little too far

**Jacob black **ewwwwww now that you put it that way

**Mike newton **you do that? What the duck

**Jane volturi** oh my god, that is just hilarious

**Bella swan **I only had a great day too, I agreed to his condition

6 people like this

**Rosalie hale **finally

**Esme cullen **congratulations

**Alice cullen **when do I get to start planning

**Bella swan **whenever you like, just don't go too overboard

**Alice cullen** thank you so much bella I will owe you forever

**Mike newton **what did you agree to bella, to like marry him or something

**Bella swan **yes

**Jacob black **great. Just peachy. Now you are one step closer

**Jane volturi **bella are the volturi invited because I really want to come

**Bella swan **I put Alice in charge of the invite list so I don't know, but if you promise to behave yourself then maybe

**Edward cullen **and now you know why I had the best day ever

**Emmett cullen **could it have taken any longer for you to propose? I mean…well you know

**Edward cullen yes I do emmett, I have heard that story a little more graphic than what you tell everyone else**

**3 people like this**


	3. Chapter 3 with the werewolves

hi good people, you will notice hopefully that my fanfiction document manager started working again, maybe cause i am on google chrome the bestest thing since twilight and fanfiction. since i got a nice request from a good person, they swayed me to make a facebook with the pack members in it, even though i am a strong team edward person. i hope you enjoy it because i dont know if i did a good job, like i said i dont dwell on the pack of overgrown puppies.

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Jacob black **I promised myself that I wouldn't be heart broken when bella left me for that filthy bloodsucker but what am I going to do know?

** Billy black **you know you can do what you need to

** Seth Clearwater **jake don't leave again….

** Sam Uley **Jacob you know that you cant leave again, we need to be extra prepared if bella becomes a vampire

5 people like this

** Leah Clearwater **Jacob, you are just going to cause more pain and suffering if you leave, and according to you that is comeing from a heartless leach that will kill people just to watch them suffer

** Jacob black **just drop the subject

** Paul s**am let him go, let the rest of us do the fun stuff like kill those bloodsuckers that he loves so much

** Seth Clearwater **paul that isn't very nice, some of them are good people

** Jacob black **seth they arent people, they are dead corspes that don't deserve to live

** Emily Young **I think that all of you need to give it a rest, Jacob especially. I know that you and the vampires arent meant to be allies but look at what you guys are going to do! You are about to go to battle with the vampires to protect bella and forks. isn't your job to protect the reserve from evil? You have kept the vampires off of your land so just give it a rest

2 people like this

** Sam Uley **I know how you feel Emily but these people arent to be trusted. Now they think that we are just going to let them kill another innocent person and welcome them into their coven, that isn't justice that is something unthinkable and unspeakable

** Colin** Jacob, I agree with seth, don't go

5 people like this

** Rachel black **I have an idea. Jacob you can go as long as you need to after the battle is over then you all can do whatever you want and if they Cullen's pose a threat then you can come and kick their buts

** Billy black **what do you think that your mother would say Jacob? Would she want to watch you leave and possibly never come back or to suffer. Of course what should I say that will change your mind, I'm only you dad…

** Jacob black **thanks dad but I don't know if I will follow your advice, I know what is right and wrong in my own eyes but how to take it into action is the hard part.

** Bella swan Jacob I know whatever you choose to do is what you think will fix this problem, I love you like a brother that I will never have but not the way I love Edward. Just remember no matter how hard you try to get rid of me you wont be able to, because if I try to get rid of you I hurt myself, mainly because I don't know how far you reach down into me. Just remember me as you would when I was happy.**


	4. Chapter 4 with the volturi

hi good people once again...i would like to say that this one was not even asked for among all the requests so i read everyones mind like edward and made a volturi one, and i think it has just the right kind of dry humor it needs, dont you say too? also, i know that i might be 'slacking on the rule book ones' so i guess that i might be starting work on that. i love how i tell you everything that i do! BIG BIG HUGS from little person twilightslittleangel

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Jane volturi Aro volturi **

Why did we have to go to the Cullen's? I mean we know that they are going to clean up the job for us…and you sent me with a ton of loons…you owe me big time

** Heidi volturi **so that's were you put her aro, amen for that

** Alec volturi **did you realize that she posted that off of her ipod thingy and now shes broken it because of felix

** Caius volturi **what did felix do now?

** Aro volturi **the only way to find out wise person is to ask felix himself

** Felix volturi **well, I was randomly doing my natural stuff while we were taking a break and I suddenly broke out into song and dance and jane was laughing so hard at my horrible impression of carlotta from phantom of the opera that she broke her ipod touch

** Aro volturi **why did we ever let you guys watch that movie or the musical?

** Jane volturi **because alec was into musicals then and now he isn't, he's just a total pain in the you-should-hopefully-know-what

** No one **likes this

** Edward cullen **you added someone named no name? wow.

** Demetri volturi **what if I don't know what you mean

** Jane volturi **then when I return I will put you in mortal agony until you understand to never question me

** Demetri volturi **sounds good to me!

** Edward cullen **so you guys are coming to clean up?

** Demetri volturi **that's the plan

** Edward cullen **good, so we know what to expect

** Carlisle cullen **jane, do you need a place to say for a while?

** Jane volturi **yeah I guess we might, depends on how we feel after cleaning up that horrific mess, I trust that you arent creating it

** Esme cullen **no we arent, we don't really like violence just it happens all the time

** Aro volturi **so Carlisle, I am glad that you have Facebook because I havent seen you for such a long time so will you add me?

** Carlisle cullen **okay, I guess

** Alice cullen **hey jane, would you like to bring some clothing back to Volterra? I mean I have some that bella refuses to wear and I don't think she ever will so should I send it to you or will you pick it up?

** Jane volturi **I would like it to be sent to Volterra you know the adress I think, considering that you sent us that invite to bellas wedding

** Aro volturi **about that invitation, is she becoming a vampire?

** Edward cullen **yes she is, that was my condition

** Bella swan **what the duck? Wow, though. This started out with jane all mad and know we are talking about Edwards condition. What the French toast!

** Edward cullen **calm down honey, its all okay for now

** Jane volturi **so I guess we will see you in a couple days wont we?

3 people like this

** Carlisle cullen yes we  
8 people like this **


	5. Chapter 5 with the newborn army

this one is a little bit shorter and i got to position stuff due to my awesome google chrome, also i would like to inform you if i havent already, that if you dont have a fanfiction you can also leave replies! everyone can and everyone should! also, if you get time go to the reviews and click on bethflower and read some of her stories...i think that you might like them...big hugs from the team edward side of the world twilightslittleangel

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Victoria **almost time…

22 people like this

** Riley beirs **really? We only have a few more days, we could get some more people in the army

** Bree tanner **what is coming that we have to be so prepared for?

** Victoria** something bigger than all of you people combined, with others that can read minds and see the future

** Eileen **wow, so is that why riley is treating us harder than usual?

** Riley beirs **yeah, I guess, and if you think that you can cheat out of that then you better be hiding right now…

** Victoria **riley we can afford to lose any more people in this army…you should know that

** Lissa **but I propose this, we can go as long as some of us live, I mean I have a life all planned out and I know that most others do too

** Mike **liss, that probably wont happen, didn't you read what was posted already? Something bigger than all of us, how are you going to survive that?

** Wolfgang **I think that someone needs to go find out what we are going to be seeing soon

** Riley beirs **I have already, and the person that we are after is very hard to get because she has vampire friends all over and they are almost always with her, if not she is some were not very safe for anyone

** Victoria **riley let them go if they have to know what they are going up against, it kinda helps sometimes when you know what you need to do but don't know how to do it

** Riley biers **I guess, but what happens if they get caught?

** Trula **we wont, have some faith in us, please riley, I know we seem stupid and irrespirable but we are good people sometimes at following orders

** Lilac **I have a better idea, lets not go at all and just move to somewhere remote were no one can find us, not even these Cullen's you keep talking about

** Riley beirs **you know why we cant do that, because there are more powerful clans out there that **will track us down** and **will kill us off** so unless you have a death wish hippie, then I suggest shut up and keep a low profile

** Lilac **fine

** victoria **I thikn that tonight I need to visit all of you people, so riley make sure htat they don't go out hunting or anything tonight. I am coming to visit you all and if you arent there you will be found and killed

4 people like this

** Sam **you know, I think that we might actually be able to accomplish some thing if we got to survey what we are about to do

8 people like this

** Victoria is it too much to ask that some people might actually have faith in me and my assumption, ideas and orders? If it wasn't for the need to get revenge then all of you lousy people would be on the street, begging for a life like this. So shut the duck up and listen to what riley or I tell you and you will do it…got it? **

** 26 people like this**


	6. Chapter 6 please read important

im sorry people, but i have run out of inspiration for this story, and ideas. i had a few but i need to make a chapter out of them and they all were too short. there actually was only one idea. i hate to dissapoint you but i will be discontinueing this story because i have ran out of my buzz on this story. i am not going to delete it, because i think that its one of my best ones yet. so im sorry if i dissapoint you or anything. so if you have any ideas tell me or make it your own stury and tell me about your story. thanks...

twilightslittleangel


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